4/15/2010
Its been 1 year she left me. Her 17th birthday was yesterday. Just after i text her and wished her, i cried as hard as i can. I was thinking, ''Am i a weak person or i'm still missing her?'' I'm a 16 years old boy, and i still can't stand up for myself. I miss her. It was like a miracle, we met on the internet; she chat with me everyday, and i'm annoyed at the first place when she nudged me everytime in WLM. And then slowly, i miss her WLM nudge and her nonsense/ stupid stories. We sms-ing everyday. I started to miss her when having our PMR test, i called her everyday to ask her how's her exam. Just to hear her voice and her laughter. December, it was like magic, we are tied together and we promised not to leave anyone side till the end. And i'm in a hunger of her, i miss her and i cannot control my emotion i just want her to be by my side every second, every hour and every day. So i asked her to come over my place to play and give her a surprise, but she was going to her friend's house. I was so upset and mad at the same time, i slammed the door. And *poof*, we are tear apart. What i do everyday is just hurting myself. I wanted her to stay at my side every second, every second when she's not with me, i feel like i'm in danger, i'm in pain, i'll scare. I just wanted her to be with me and that's the reason i asked her to come over my house. Am i a stupid guy or i'm a guy who don't even know what is love? I just want her to be stay with me for a little bit longer. Just a little bit longer.
1/3/2011
I cannot sleep that night. I woke at in the midnight, 3am. I miss her and i know that day is the first day she going college for her first day. I stay awake until 6am just to remind her and ask her to jia yous in her first day. I thought my message can make her happy but what i thought is wrong. She don't even reply my message. MY heart is like broken in pieces, i can't even eat and sleep properly... But i don't really care about it, cause i'm not someone special to her, its normal by the way.
1/5/2011
Is it me or what, i saw her again today after got back from KL. She was just walking behind me to the bus stop. I don't have the braveness to look behind. I don't want to let her see my face. I was just about to cry that time. I quickly crossed the road and ask my friend to come with me also.. Maybe that's not her, maybe it was just me, think too much >< I looked at her for a moment and she swifted her eye away.. ARGH!! I MISS HER!! Although its already 2 years! What am i thinking? Always thinking something that is impossible! It's impossible we can be together again! And if she read this, maybe she'll get mad and start shouting at me again.. Just wanted to be with her.. HAIX!
